How to Greet Aliens When They Arrive on Earth
Let's imagine for a moment that it finally happens.
After decades of UFO sightings, strange lights, government hearings, blurry photographs, documentaries, conspiracy theories, and that one guy who absolutely swears something probed him in Nevada...
They arrive.
Not another unexplained object on a radar screen. Not something fuzzy filmed through a windshield at 2:00 in the morning.
An actual extraterrestrial spacecraft lands on Earth.
The door opens.
Something walks out.
At that particular moment, humanity has one incredibly important responsibility:
Please don't let us screw this up.
Because first impressions matter.
And this would be one heck of a first impression.
Rule #1: Maybe Don't Shoot at Them
This seems like it shouldn't need to be said.
Yet I feel like it probably needs to be said.
Our movies haven't exactly established humanity as the welcoming committee of the galaxy.
Spaceship arrives.
Military surrounds it.
Aliens emerge.
Somebody gets nervous.
Something explodes.
Will Smith gets involved.
Roll credits.
If extraterrestrial visitors actually travel across interstellar space to reach Earth, perhaps our first reaction shouldn't be to point every weapon we've invented at them.
Obviously, caution would be necessary. Governments and scientists would need to consider public safety, biological risks, communication, security, and about a thousand things none of us have ever dealt with before.
But caution and aggression aren't the same thing.
Maybe our first message should simply be:
We're curious about you. We hope you're curious about us.
That's a much better opening than artillery.
Remember: They're Probably Nervous Too
We always imagine ourselves being terrified of the aliens.
But consider their perspective.
They've just landed on a planet occupied by billions of strange creatures who spend an alarming amount of time arguing with each other.
They've probably been monitoring our television broadcasts on the way here.
If so...
they're terrified.
Imagine them watching five minutes of cable news followed by professional wrestling and then an episode of The Bachelor.
The captain of the spaceship probably turns to the crew and says:
"Are we absolutely sure we want to land there?"
If genuine contact ever happens, remembering that both sides are encountering something completely unknown could be important.
Fear wouldn't necessarily mean hostility.
Sometimes fear simply means:
I don't understand you yet.
Humans could stand to remember that lesson even when we're dealing with other humans.
Let the Scientists Talk Before the Influencers
If extraterrestrials arrive, we're going to need communication.
Scientists.
Linguists.
Mathematicians.
Anthropologists.
Psychologists.
Diplomats.
People who understand biology, astronomy, physics, culture, and communication.
Basically, people capable of patiently figuring out what we're dealing with.
What we probably don't need immediately is somebody walking toward the spacecraft livestreaming:
"Guys! You are NOT going to believe this! Smash that subscribe button because we're about to meet an alien!"
There will be plenty of time for selfies later.
Assuming the aliens understand selfies.
And assuming they don't immediately turn around and leave after discovering them.
Start With Something Universal
How exactly do you say hello to a being from another planet?
We can't assume they speak English.
Or Mandarin.
Or Spanish.
Or any human language.
We can't even assume they communicate through sound.
This is where mathematics and basic scientific concepts could potentially become useful. If another civilization understands physics and space travel, there may be shared concepts involving numbers, patterns, elements, geometry, or astronomy that could provide a starting point for communication.
But eventually, I'd like to think we'd get around to something even more fundamental.
Peace.
Curiosity.
Respect.
Those may be human concepts, but if another civilization intentionally traveled here without immediately destroying us, hopefully there is some common ground somewhere.
Don't Assume They're Here to Save Us
Here's where the metaphysical community might need to control itself a little.
Within approximately eleven minutes of an alien landing, somebody will announce:
"They have come to raise Earth's vibration!"
Maybe.
Or maybe they need directions.
We have a tendency to project our own hopes and fears onto things we don't understand.
Some people will assume aliens are dangerous.
Others will immediately assume they're spiritually enlightened beings here to rescue humanity.
We wouldn't actually know either.
Advanced technology doesn't automatically equal advanced spirituality.
Humans have smartphones and we still argue with strangers in Facebook comments.
Technology and wisdom are clearly not the same thing.
So let's meet them as they actually are rather than immediately turning them into whatever we want them to be.
But What About Their Energy?
Now we get into the fun metaphysical part.
Imagine being physically present during humanity's first confirmed encounter with intelligent extraterrestrial life.
Think about the energy of that moment.
Billions of people realizing simultaneously:
We are not alone.
Every religion, philosophy, scientific theory, and personal belief about humanity's place in the Universe would suddenly have something new to consider.
That realization alone could create one of the biggest shifts in human consciousness we've ever experienced.
For thousands of years we've looked at the stars and wondered.
Is anybody out there?
And suddenly...
Something answers.
Even without mystical explanations, that would be spiritually enormous.
Our Definition of "Us" Would Change
This might be the greatest metaphysical effect of extraterrestrial contact.
Right now humans are incredibly good at dividing ourselves into groups.
Countries.
Cultures.
Religions.
Political beliefs.
Languages.
Races.
Sports teams.
People who put pineapple on pizza and people who believe those people have committed an unforgivable crime.
But the moment another intelligent species stands in front of us, something fascinating happens.
Suddenly we're all...
Earthlings.
Think about that.
Our definition of us gets bigger.
Perhaps seeing someone from another world would finally make us realize how much everyone on this world has in common.
From space there aren't billions of separate little territories.
There's Earth.
One planet.
Our home.
Maybe aliens wouldn't need to teach us that lesson.
Their presence alone might do it.
Offer Them Food... Carefully
Food is one of humanity's greatest expressions of welcome.
Someone visits your house?
You offer them something to eat.
So naturally I imagine somebody eventually asking:
"Do you guys want tacos?"
There are some biological complications here.
We have absolutely no idea whether extraterrestrial life could eat Earth food—or whether our food might be poisonous to them.
So maybe don't immediately hand the alien a plate of nachos.
Let the biologists handle that part.
But if we eventually discover that they can eat our food...
Now we're talking.
Because if anything can create interplanetary peace, I have faith in pizza.
Show Them Our Best Stuff
If we had one day to explain humanity to extraterrestrial visitors, what would we show them?
Our weapons?
Our skyscrapers?
Our technology?
I'd show them music.
Art.
Laughter.
Families.
National parks.
Dogs.
Children playing.
People helping strangers.
A stadium full of people singing together.
Someone painting.
Someone dancing badly and enjoying every second of it.
I'd show them the ocean.
The Grand Canyon.
A sunset.
The stars from a dark desert.
I'd show them the strange, messy, creative, emotional things that make being human interesting.
Because humanity isn't simply what we've built.
Humanity is what we feel.
And Please Don't Let One Person Speak for All of Us
At some point the aliens may ask:
"Who is your leader?"
Oh boy.
Could we maybe respond:
"That's complicated."
No single politician, celebrity, billionaire, scientist, religious leader, or guy with twelve million social-media followers represents humanity.
We're messy.
We disagree.
We're contradictory.
We're compassionate and selfish.
Brilliant and ridiculous.
Peaceful and argumentative.
Sometimes all before lunch.
If extraterrestrials really want to understand humanity, they're going to need to meet lots of us.
Hopefully they'll have a long vacation planned.
Maybe the Greatest Greeting Is Humility
If extraterrestrial intelligence is ever confirmed, perhaps our most important response should be humility.
We have spent much of human history behaving as though we're the main event of existence.
Then one day a spacecraft lands and somebody walks out.
Suddenly...
We're part of a much larger neighborhood.
That could be frightening.
But I think it could also be beautiful.
Maybe humanity would look at the Universe differently.
Maybe we'd look at ourselves differently.
Maybe we'd realize that existence is far stranger, larger, and more mysterious than we ever imagined.
And perhaps we'd become a little more comfortable saying:
We don't know everything.
That might be one of the most spiritually advanced sentences humans can speak.
Welcome to Earth
So if the aliens eventually arrive, here's my proposed greeting:
Welcome.
We don't completely understand you.
You probably don't completely understand us.
We're curious.
We're occasionally irrational.
We have made plenty of mistakes.
We're still learning.
We have some incredible music.
Our dogs are wonderful.
Our sunsets are spectacular.
And somebody will probably try to sell you a T-shirt before you leave.
But beneath all our differences, there is something beautiful about this strange little species.
We love.
We create.
We explore.
We laugh.
We wonder.
And for as long as we've been able to look toward the stars, we've wondered whether someone might someday look back.
If that day ever comes, perhaps the greatest thing we can offer our visitors isn't technology, wealth, or power.
It's peaceful curiosity.
Two completely different forms of life standing together and acknowledging:
You're here.
We're here.
Let's see what we can learn from each other.
And if our new extraterrestrial friends eventually ask us what the secret to life is...
Well...
I'll hand them a Make Peace With Life shirt.
Then I'll explain that we're still figuring that part out too.
