Turn Thanksgiving Into Gratitude Day

Turn Thanksgiving Into Gratitude Day

Less Pressure, More Appreciation—and Yes, You Can Still Have Pie

Thanksgiving has somehow become one of those holidays where we're supposed to feel incredibly grateful while simultaneously cooking twelve dishes, cleaning the house, traveling across three states, navigating family politics and wondering why the turkey is still frozen at 10:00 a.m. Maybe it's time to simplify the whole thing. Instead of focusing entirely on Thanksgiving traditions, turn the day into Gratitude Day—a day centered on appreciating the people, experiences and wonderfully imperfect life you already have. The turkey can still come. Just don't make the turkey responsible for the spiritual success of the holiday.

Start by asking a different question: What would actually make this day meaningful? Maybe the answer isn't spending six hours preparing a traditional dinner. Have everyone bring their favorite food instead—even if that creates the first Thanksgiving featuring tacos, pizza, pierogi and Grandma's pumpkin pie on the same table. Go out for breakfast. Have a Thanksgiving picnic. Cook cheeseburgers outside. Take a family hike before dinner. Visit a park. Watch the sunrise. Build a fire that evening. Volunteer together or find a way to help someone who could use a little extra kindness. Traditions are wonderful when they bring people together, but you're allowed to create new traditions that actually fit your family and your life.

You can also make gratitude something everyone does, rather than something somebody awkwardly announces before dinner while everyone stares longingly at the mashed potatoes. Put out a Gratitude Jar and have everyone write down something they're thankful for, then read them later. Ask each person to bring a photograph connected to a favorite memory. Tell stories about family members who are no longer at the table. Call somebody who can't be there. Take a group walk where phones stay in pockets. Have everyone name one great thing that happened during the past year—and one difficult thing that ultimately taught them something. Gratitude doesn't mean pretending life was perfect. Sometimes we're grateful because we survived the parts that definitely weren't.

And don't forget the ridiculous stuff. Gratitude doesn't have to be serious. Be thankful for music. Dogs. Comfortable sweatpants. Road trips. Inside jokes. Coffee. Cheeseburgers. That one relative who provides enough Thanksgiving stories to keep everyone entertained until next November. Create a family awards ceremony: Best Story of the Year, Biggest Adventure, Funniest Mistake, Most Questionable Purchase, or the coveted “What the Fudge Were You Thinking?” Award.Take a ridiculous annual family photograph. Play games. Dance in the kitchen. Have everyone choose one song for a Thanksgiving playlist. Memories are often created when we stop trying so hard to manufacture the perfect holiday.

From a Make Peace With Life™ perspective, gratitude is really about where we place our energy. Our minds are incredibly good at noticing what's missing, what's wrong and what we'd like to change. Gratitude temporarily flips the perspective toward what is already here: people we love, experiences we've had, lessons we've learned, food on the table, laughter in the room and another year of this strange adventure called life. You don't need to pretend everything is wonderful. You simply recognize that even in an imperfect life, there are still things worth appreciating.

So this year, maybe Thanksgiving doesn't have to look like the picture on the grocery-store advertisement. Eat turkey—or don't. Dress up—or wear sweatpants. Cook all day—or order pizza. Watch football. Go hiking. Volunteer. Tell stories. Remember people you've lost. Invite someone who might otherwise be alone. Turn off the phones for a while. Laugh until somebody snorts.

Don't just create a Thanksgiving dinner.

Create a Gratitude Day worth remembering.

Because twenty years from now, nobody is going to remember whether the stuffing was slightly dry.

They'll remember who was sitting beside them when everyone started laughing.

And that might be the real spiritual feast—another beautiful opportunity to be grateful, create some positive energy and Make Peace With Life™.